Comments on: My Daughter Has an Eating Disorder and I Don’t Get It https://lorihansoninternational.com/my-daughter-has-an-eating-disorder-and-i-dont-get-it/ Leadership Performance Speaker, Executive Advisor, The Success Whisperer Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:41:10 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.5 By: Learn2Balance https://lorihansoninternational.com/my-daughter-has-an-eating-disorder-and-i-dont-get-it/#comment-23 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:41:10 +0000 http://learn2balance.wordpress.com/?p=309#comment-23 In reply to Chris.

Thanks for your comment and question. Two things that are really difficult for a young girl with an eating disorder are #1 – knowing that you are causing your parents to be upset about it emotionally.
#2 – knowing that it is costing a lot of money to get you help.

Both of these things cause a lot of guilt for the individual who is in the grasp of the eating disorder. When they see or know these things it just makes them want to hide and numb out even more. Combined with the fact that denial is a big deal it makes it difficult for them to communicate openly and honestly about it – until they are ready to get help.

Here’s a couple of recommendations for you specifically:
#1 – realize that this is something you daughter has to solve. This isn’t your problem to fix. let go of your emotional charge to the issue. Relieve your guilt, anger and frustration so that you are detached when you talk with her about it. Being emotionally invested doesn’t help you be objective and, as you have seen pushes her away.

#2 – Keep an eye on here. I’m not sure how old your daughter is, but you do want to monitor the situation so that if it gets worse you know you need to seek help for her. Asking her may/may not be the best way to deal with it because she will lie and deny if she’s sinking further down.

#3 – I would recommend simply asking her on a regular basis how’s she’s doing and if there is anything you can do to help her “today.” Don’t necessarily direct your questions at the eating disorder. Tell her that you are always there if she needs someone to talk to (and be a good shoulder for her without judgment) and prove it to her. Be open – and don’t push. At the same time, keep an eye on the situation.

If you need more advice, or if things get worse. You can schedule a FREE 30-minute coaching session with me. I’ll help you through it.

PS – I would let your daughter know about the Finding Hope Community – it is a great resouorce for her, and for you as a parent!

]]> By: Chris https://lorihansoninternational.com/my-daughter-has-an-eating-disorder-and-i-dont-get-it/#comment-22 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 01:08:05 +0000 http://learn2balance.wordpress.com/?p=309#comment-22 Our daughter told us that she had a combination of bulimia/anorexia about a year ago. At that time she said she had only started the behavior 4-5 months prior because of a very stressful time at college and with her boyfriend at that time. She went to counciling at college a few times and to a special clinic a couple of times. She’s told us she is doing better, but she doesn’t say anything unless I ask her about it. How can I respect and trust that she doesn’t want to talk about it and still feel that we are showing her support. I’m still having a hard time dealing with it and she said she doesn’t like talking to me about it because I cry everytime and she doesn’t want to make me cry. I don’t want her to feel guilty like that either. What do you suggest? Don’t ask her anymore how she is doing?

]]> By: Learn2Balance https://lorihansoninternational.com/my-daughter-has-an-eating-disorder-and-i-dont-get-it/#comment-21 Mon, 07 May 2012 19:18:57 +0000 http://learn2balance.wordpress.com/?p=309#comment-21 In reply to don.

Absolutely, low self-esteem is one of the root causes. But not the entire problem. It’s a difficult process. But one that can be won. If you need additional help, feel free to reach out to us at Learn2Balance (Coach@nullLearn2Balance.com) visit our website for more information on our programs, that’s what we’re here for (www.Learn2Balance.com). Blessings to your daughter and your family.

]]> By: don https://lorihansoninternational.com/my-daughter-has-an-eating-disorder-and-i-dont-get-it/#comment-20 Sat, 28 Apr 2012 23:46:44 +0000 http://learn2balance.wordpress.com/?p=309#comment-20 Don
Well as a parent i would not agree more my Daughter has a lot of health issues and one of them we just found out is a eating disorder, and she has confided in me about it but as above in someones blog she is in the denial stage.My Wife and i want and are trying to support her,just like any parent who cares we want to fix,or to just take all the hurt away but we can not,and realize that she has to help herself.Our family Doctor has asked my Daughter to go to a clinic for what she is going through,and has a crises team involved in her situation,And as above my Daughter was really worried about telling anyone about what she was going through,and my family Doctor is the one who picked up on all this.My whole Family was oblivious to all what was going on in my Daughters life,we all thought she was happy and had her life in order,she is a nurse,has just recently bought her own house,and is very independent,very smart,pretty,good attitude.But possible low self-esteem is one of the root causes of all her hurt and pain.

]]> By: steve https://lorihansoninternational.com/my-daughter-has-an-eating-disorder-and-i-dont-get-it/#comment-19 Sun, 30 Oct 2011 03:36:56 +0000 http://learn2balance.wordpress.com/?p=309#comment-19 well as a parent with a child in treatment, tell your parents and ask for help…

]]> By: Allison https://lorihansoninternational.com/my-daughter-has-an-eating-disorder-and-i-dont-get-it/#comment-18 Sat, 30 Jan 2010 19:23:09 +0000 http://learn2balance.wordpress.com/?p=309#comment-18 I would highly suggest that children and teens tell their parents about an eating disorder, and that parents talk to their children once they know they have an eating disorder. I used to have an eating disorder in my teens caused by depression, low self esteem, and a lack of control over my life. I just wanted to die and thought about starving myself, and it somehow made me feel temporarily better when I ate a low fat low calorie diet. Losing weight can make a teen feel empowered and better about their self-image if they have low self-esteem like most teen girls. My parents were over-controlling, gave me no emotional support, and failed to accept that I had a disorder. This is a horrible situation for a teen, because someone with an eating disorder really loses a sense of reality and may not understand the physical and emotional consequences of their actions. Eating disorders are a behavioral addition similar to alcoholism – in fact both my father and my mothers father were alcoholics. The main focus for the individual is health and happiness. I have been living without an eating disorder for a few years now, but have suffered from borderline personality disorder, and hormonal problems (ed affect the hypothalmic-gonadal-adrenal axis) that have impacted my overall and reproductive health as a result of my past eating disorder. I wish my parents had intervened and gotten me the counseling I needed to see that health is the road to happiness and sexuality. Children and teens are too young to understand the effect an eating disorder will have on their lives. Help yourself by telling your parents if you have an eating disorder, and parents, please let your child/teen get help and support. I wish someone would have been there for me.

]]> By: merelyme https://lorihansoninternational.com/my-daughter-has-an-eating-disorder-and-i-dont-get-it/#comment-17 Wed, 22 Jul 2009 19:09:23 +0000 http://learn2balance.wordpress.com/?p=309#comment-17 I’m scared to tell my parents. I’m scared to tell my friends. I feel like anyone I tell will judge me and just make me feel worse about myself. I’ve heard my friends talk about bulimia saying “how could anyone WANT to throw up? Its so disgusting. Bulimic people are seriously screwed up…”

I’ve told one person about being bulimic, and they live over a 1,000 miles away, don’t know my parents, don’t know my friends, and thus can’t tell anyone.
It kind of seems they’ve given up on trying to help me, too. It doesn’t feel like they care anymore.

I know I shouldn’t. But I can’t stop. It’s not even so much a binge and purge thing. If I eat a full meal, I automatically feel like I need to get it out.
I sometimes think I should get some sort of therapy, but … that would require telling my parents, and I really don’t want to do that.

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